The Higher Self, The Ego, and Connecting with Spirit

March 30, 2023March 30, 2023 Melissa ConklingLeave a comment

There are two important aspects of ourselves that come into play in our spiritual journey – the Ego and the Higher Self.

Our ego is designed to keep us safe. It loves our comfort zone and it will do anything in its power to keep us right where we are, playing safe, holding ourselves back, and doing what we have survived every day of our lives doing. Above all, it fears change. But change is essential when we want to move ourselves from the comfort zone of our current existence to progressing on our spiritual journey. That is where the Higher Self comes in.

We each have our own personal bridge to the spirit realm, and that bridge is our higher self. Let’s quickly go over what your higher self ISN’T. Your higher self is not the best version of yourself. It’s is not something you need to strive to become. It is not your soul or spirit. And it is not ever separate from you

So…what is your higher self? Your higher self is the part of you that knows what is best for you. It’s the part of you that knows at any given moment what step you should take next. And it is the part of you that connects with spirit and your spirit guides so you can get clear on your goals and your soul’s purpose in this lifetime, and how to put it all into action. In fact, it knows so strongly what you are meant to do that it will pull you away from goals you may have that seem logical and safe, but aren’t allowing you to live up to your full potential. And it’s something each and every one of us has, has always had, and will always have. We are connected to it. Essentially, it’s the bridge between your spirit that is timeless and beingless, and your current human existence.

Now, one of the most common definitions of a life purpose is a message our soul decided upon – a certain thing we are here to convey – that was chosen before our birth. We choose our human experience – our body, our parents, everything – based on how these circumstances will best help us deliver this message. The tricky part is, as we take human form, we forget what this message is and why we made those decisions. Now, that may sound a little frustrating, but it’s actually a gift…because our life experience is designed to allow us to remember that message and to live it out.

Our higher self is the part of us that does know, and it guides us in our journey to remember through speaking to us and connecting us with our spirit guides and other aspects of the superconscious. Often we hear people talk about connecting to your higher self, and that phrase is a bit of a misnomer since it implies that we are not already connected to this part of us. You are, you always have been, and always will be. But let’s not get caught up in those semantics.

Your higher self likely guided you here as a step to help you remember your purpose, remember your spiritual nature, and to combine them as you live your life. Throughout history, we humans have learned to trust and rely on outside sources, logic, and our ego rather than our higher self. Our ego uses logic not to intentionally hold us back, but to keep us safe. It keeps us in our comfort zone because it perceives change as scary and dangerous.

Our higher self, however, simply knows what we’re meant to do. As we learn to re-establish and trust the communication lines with our higher self, we learn to safely move past that place where our ego has been keeping us. So, how do we do this? With intention. Through meditation, mindset practices, and hypnosis. Our higher self speaks to us through our subconscious mind, particularly through our intuition, which we will dive into much deeper in the following chapter.

One of the biggest questions I know I had when I started this work, and one I get often and see others ask is: How do I know when I’ve connected with my higher self? Unfortunately, there is no straight, easy answer on this one. It’s often that you just know on a deep inner level beyond logic. Fortunately there are some signals to look for.

The three biggest signs that a message is coming from your higher self are:

That the message is very matter of fact and rational, though not necessarily logical – sort of like in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, when Harry takes the liquid luck and knows exactly where he should go to achieve his mission.
It’ll be absent of fear – because fear comes from the ego
It’ll be persistent, because your higher self is always nudging you in the right direction. If you’re getting the same inkling to do a certain thing over and over and over, chances are, it’s your higher self.

When I started connecting with my higher self more regularly, I keep getting these urges to go to the beach and to get out in nature, even though my ego was telling me I needed to work harder. Despite logic and that sense that it made no sense, it was in those moments at the beach and out in the woods that I had some of my biggest breakthroughs that led me to where I am today.

And just like everything else in life, you’ll get better at doing this, recognizing it, and trusting it the more often you intentionally connect with your higher self. Don’t get too caught up in doing this “right” because there is no Right…that’s your ego just trying to pull you back into the comfort zone.

Why Releasing Expectations when Connecting with Your Guides is So Important and How to Start!

March 25, 2023March 28, 2023 Melissa ConklingLeave a comment

Embarking on a spiritual journey of any kind, including connecting with your spirit guides, always starts as an act of faith. Beginning to believe in and trust our connection to spirit requires us to throw logic out the window and suspend our disbelief. Because we are so accustomed to overusing our logical & analytical conscious mind, we often have a lot of resistance to letting logic take backseat, even for just a little while. It is easy to attempt to analyze our spirit guide experiences in search of proof and end up dismissing them entirely.

Our search for proof can lead to having preconceived ideas and expectations of our spirit guides in many ways, from how we think they are supposed to look like, how we assume they will communicate, and how we believe the experience will feel as a whole. We even build expectations around the messages we hope or expect to hear from them. This is why it is so important to release expectations and let go of logic, especially during the beginning phases of connecting with our guides.

When accessing the subconscious mind as the go-between to the spirit realm, there are two things that can hold us back more than anything else: overthinking it and trying too hard. Overthinking comes from holding tight to the preconceived ideas of what we think it is supposed to look and feel like, analyzing our experience against these expectations to the point of not allowing our connection to spirit to come through. Trying too hard is similar, yet slightly different – it’s trying to force one particular experience, rather than allowing the experience to be what it is…and each spirit guide experience may prove to be very different from the last.

Both of these come in the form of thoughts such as “Is this real? Did that really happen?” or “Am I doing this right? Did I say the right word? Did I miss part?” The fact is, even if consciously you miss something or don’t get a word in an invocation correct, your subconscious and superconscious are paying attention to everything and know what you mean!

When doubts come into our minds, in our very human desire to do things right and to succeed, our conscious mind takes control of the situation. But when connecting with your spirit guides, listening to your higher self, and developing your intuition, there is never one way for it to happen, a correct way to feel, or “right” thing to experience. There is no “should.” This is why throwing logic out for the time being is essential.

For years, this is exactly what held be back from fully connecting with my guides. I expected to to happen easily, instantly, and in a very specific way, as though my guides would show up in my living room and sit down for a cup of tea. It wasn’t until I let go of the urge to control the situation and stopped trying to manipulate it into what I thought should happen that I began to connect very clearly with my guides. It was then that I realized they had already been communicating with me for quite some time, but my analytical, logical mind was keeping me from receiving their messages.

Yet the question remains: how do we keep ourselves from overthinking and trying to hard? How to we let go of logic? The answer is not so simple. After all, most of us have been trained our entire lives to rely mainly on this part of our mind for just about everything we do in life.

So first, understand that it takes some time and some practice. The more you begin to see and feel the connections between you and your guides, the easier it will become. Don’t be hard on yourself with these thoughts show up. Rather, simply acknowledge them and return to your practice. This will keep you in the present moment, rooted in the experience you are currently having, rather than in anticipation of what to expect or analyzing what happened last time.

Next, allow your imagination to play a part. Pretending as though you are communicating with your guides can be the very thing that invites them in. It may feel a little silly at first, but it works. In fact, this is how I connected with my very first guide, Frank.

After nearly a year of trying to connect regularly, finally one day, I decided to just let myself pretend I was communicating with my guide, whose name I didn’t know yet. At some point, the experience changed entirely, and I knew without a doubt that the experience was no longer coming from my imagination, but was coming from my spirit guide. And that moment opened the flood gates of the spirit world for me!

Releasing expectations is without a doubt the most important aspect of preparing yourself to meet your guides, so allow yourself to have the experience for what it is. Allow it to flow. And allow yourself to have fun in the process!

intuition · spirit guides · Spiritual Mindset

How to Strengthen Your Intuition in Less Than 10 Minutes a Day

March 9, 2023April 5, 2023 Melissa Conkling1 Comment

We are all intuitive. Every single one of us. This isn’t a gift for the rare few. It’s not something for only introverts or quiet thoughtful souls. Each and every one of us has intuition, and you’ve likely been using it already. Intuition is defined as: The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. It’s the ability to just know or feel when something is right or wrong. When something is off, without any real context to inform that knowledge.

Intuition is a knowing that cannot be rationally explained. The impulse to get off the highway an exit earlier than planned, only to find ut a huge accident occurred just down the road moments later. Choosing not to go to a certain party and then learning your ex showed up unexpectedly. The calling to go to the beach to relax instead of working one day, and having major breakthroughs in your career goals as you soaked in the salty air.

But intuition is so much more than these serendipitous moments. It is our inner guidance system. It is the voice of our higher self that always knows what is best for us, even when it makes no sense logically – and is not what we want to hear. For the purpose of this book, our intuition is a bridge to the spirit realm through the superconscious. Most importantly, intuition is not something that just happens when it happens.

It is something that can and should be developed so we can learn to hear and trust it easier and easier each day. To begin this process, we must learn to actively listen to this inner guidance system. And the best part is that it’s pretty easy to do!

Here are three simple steps to strengthen your intuition in 10 minutes a day!

1. Set the intention to Listen
2. Sit in stillness with your eyes opened or closed and simply notice what you notice. What do you hear? What do you see? What do you feel? Notice the things you’re picking up in “real” life and the things in your mind. Do this for 3 minutes, resisting the urge to track it or analyze it.
3. After 3 minutes, write down everything you recall.

Do this three times a day, at different times and in different places.

As you do this, you’ll begin to see patterns in what you are noticing as well as where and when you notice more!

This will tune your mind into listening in a new way, with all of your senses, inviting your intuition to speak to you more often and more clearly.

Click here for a video on this intuition strengthening technique.